Exit 27. Rest stop for wit.

Nugget 1.6

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:54:16 -0400

As Nabauk gunfire tore up the lab, Judd and his party took cover. Danger grabbed the prototype laser rifle and unleashed a ray in the vicinity of the infiltrators. Some were cut in two, or pieces, or simply a piece fell off, but the rest kept firing. The rifle overheated and sparks flew from its power cell. Everyone did their best to fend off the attack, a Nabauk would drop here and there, but their numbers were too many. And then Judd saw him. Stalking in the shadows behind the pillars, his fingers slowly growing longer and blacker. Spiderman. He had chased Judd since the beginning, and now he came to end it. The tall being stalked the shadows, artfully dodging slugs and bullets.

“Judd!” Danger had been calling to him for the better part of five minutes. “Get your goddamn ass in that machine!”

Judd took pot shots and ducked from pillar to pillar, getting closer to the machine. And then, he was there. Ah Chuy Kak. Spiderman. The being reached his hand out, four of the fingers already turned into those disgusting, spidery digits. The wrapped around Judd’s neck, and Spiderman lifted him into the air.

“I don’t know how it is that you’ve survived,” the being communicated. Judd could only see into his hollow eyes. A light appeared in both, and slowly intensified. “Are you an alien? How is it that a human could survive an apocalypse and grow younger? You are not genetically coded that way.”

Spiderman’s grip tightened and the lights intensified, sending Judd into a trance.

“Are you the last of the Seraphim?” Spiderman looked down thoughtfully. “It is of no matter, for soon your existence shall be mine.”

The light flared and all Judd could do was gaze into them. Colors swirled about and then a hole opened up. Darkness began to seep into whirling madness.

“JUDD!”

The voice penetrated his mind and soon he was on the ground. He looked over and saw Spiderman riddled with bullet holes. It was quiet.

Deborah shook Judd out of his fading trance. “Judd!” she helped sit him up. “Judd, are you okay?”
“Y- yeah? What happened?”
Danger crouched down next to him. “Spiderman had you in his freakish grasp,” he said. “Took two clips each to finally get him down.”
The others nodded and Blanka bent over to help him up. “Would’ve been a shame to get you this close,” he told him. “Crawl through Nabauk fecal matter only to be killed by the biggest piece of shit in the Universe.”
Judd was taken back by Blanka’s language. “Easy with that language, Doc.”
Blanka laughed. “I’ve been hanging around you for too long,” he said. “It’s time to get you home.”

Nugget 1.5

Sun, 4 Oct 2009 16:43:39 -0400

DISCLAIMER: What you’re about to read may disturb you. This is a nugget of an idea which could be a SPOILER for future chapters or plot points. It is also a nugget of an idea which lets you watch the creative process. The slow, savory process.

“We have to go,” the wily man said as he rushed away from the window.
Darla looked at him and then approached the window herself. Outside, three men stood shoulder to shoulder with another behind him. The three in front all wore long grey jackets, with matching fedoras. The man behind them was tall, very tall. He wore a black suit with a black tie. There was something unnatural about him.

“Who are those men?”

The man was frantically throwing stuff into a bag. “Trouble. Death. Certain death.”

Darla spun around, her heart suddenly beating quickly. “What?”

“That tall man,” he stopped and looked at her, “his name is Ah Chuy Kak, but where I’m from, we called him the Spiderman.”

“What? Spiderman? Why?”

The man went back to his frantic packing process. “You don’t want to know.”

Nugget 1.4

Sat, 3 Oct 2009 16:40:42 -0400

DISCLAIMER: What you’re about to read may disturb you. This is a nugget of an idea which could be a SPOILER for future chapters or plot points. It is also a nugget of an idea which lets you watch the creative process. The slow, savory process.

“Well, here we are,” Blanka said. “The URA National Archives.”

“Wait, this can’t be right,” Judd said perusing the winners. “The Boston Celtics won the NBA Championship in 2008, not the Chicago Bulls. And the next year it was won by the Houston Super Rockets? That’s not even the right name.”

“What are you talking about,” Blanka said, strolling over to Judd. “The archives are as accurate as they come.”

“I was at the ’08 Finals,” Judd said testily, “I think I would know.”

Blanka squinted hard at Judd and then his eyes widened. “Oh… oh my.”

“What?”

“I’m afraid you’re a lot further in the future than 132 years, my friend.”

Nugget 1.3

Fri, 2 Oct 2009 16:39:40 -0400

DISCLAIMER: What you’re about to read may disturb you. This is a nugget of an idea which could be a SPOILER for future chapters or plot points. It is also a nugget of an idea which lets you watch the creative process. The slow, savory process.

Judd wasn’t sure where he was. Last he remembered the ship was rocketing towards the Helix Nebula. He knew he was in space, that much was certain. He also knew his suit was in working order, but absolutely low on everything. Fuel, oxygen, heating; all systems were minimal. As he floated around, it dawned on him that he was moving through a beautiful array of colors. Reds, blues, and oranges all danced together and danced apart in wave-like motions. Well, Judd thought. I guess if I’m going to die in space, this is the place to do it. A beeping rang in his ears and Judd saw his HUD display his oxygen level. Ten minutes left. Any chance of survival was hopeless. Judd took a deep breath, brought himself into a cross-legged sitting position, and began to make his peace with what was about to happen.

“Hello, Judd.”

The voice was booming, yet quite. It beat against his spacesuit, and yet was normal to his ears. Judd looked around frantically, trying to locate the source, but could not find it. His breathing became labored as he mustered up a single word to speak into his oxygen depleted suit.

“Hello?”

A tiny red light began to flash as his oxygen level hit zero. Next went his fuel, taking the heating coils with them. Tunnel-vision set in and Judd felt the end approaching.

“Breathe, Judd,” the calm voice said.
“I… I ca-”
“I said breathe!”

He felt a force push him backwards. The red light stopped flashing. Beeping had stopped its incessant warning. All of the suit’s systems were back online and 100 percent. Judd looked around himself, and still nothing. Now, however, in addition to the rainbow of gases, there were flashes here and there. Some red, some purple, green, blue. A flash of orange happened not five-feet from where Judd was floating. Then there was that, the floating. Judd had stopped moving.

Nugget 1.2

Thu, 1 Oct 2009 16:36:45 -0400

DISCLAIMER: What you’re about to read may disturb you. This is a nugget of an idea which could be a SPOILER for future chapters or plot points. It is also a nugget of an idea which lets you watch the creative process. The slow, savory process.

Hi, I’m J..udd. Are you a fan of…[old school]…old school plumbing? Having trouble finding someone to fix it for you? Well fear not, because Judd’s J.. Jovian Plumbing Emporium is here for you. I personally have over 2,000 years of plumbing experience, and can fix any… toilet, sink, tub or piping issue you may have.

…[So come on down]

So come on down to Judd’s Jovian Plumbing Emporium and schedule an appointment today!

Judd cringed at today. The gesture he made was a cross between a thumbs-up and a finger-point turned sideways and given by a monkey. The production value was well enough, but there are some things money can’t buy. “They aren’t going to bite,” he said quietly.

“Of course they will,” Reznor said. “I’ve seen their toilets. They’ll be calling in no time.”
Judd shook his head slowly. “2,000 years in the future and people are still making half-assed schemes to save the world. This is like a terrible Hollywood movie, where only the dumbest villain falls for something like this.”

***

Rulnak slammed his fist on the arm of his thrown. “Get this Judd to our ship at once!”